


Watching

by Zorthania



Series: After [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chapter 132 spoilers, M/M, is it alternative universe anymore though?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:48:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26448796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zorthania/pseuds/Zorthania
Summary: Erwin watches, only he's not alone.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Series: After [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1922659
Comments: 2
Kudos: 76





	Watching

There are times where he simply can't help himself and Kuchel would likely gut him if she knew.

To pull her away from the visions of the clear water when on some nights even he is vulnerable to temptations that ravage him.

Erwin wants- 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 to know.

He realizes this is akin to his obsession with the contents that lay hidden in the basement at Shiganshina, but since Hanji fell in their arms a few moons ago, he's been painfully anxious.

How cruel that a man should outlive all the people that he's ever loved.

Erwin watched.

In the quiet of the night when the cicadas chimed of a peace not afforded to his aching heart, when the long prairie grass and foliage rustled in the soft winds up and over the hill. When he despaired for a living man and let a pit sink into his gut until it destroyed him from the inside out, quietly he would lead himself into the very forest that he fell from upon arrival, and he would watch.

Erwin observed as the years passed and Levi would talk to bolo ties as though they were tombstones, never hearing, only seeing the dull look of resignation and numb longing in his eyes in the quiet of the night when he thought no one was looking. Erwin witnessed Levi's anguish when they returned from Shiganshina as he locked himself in his office only to tear it to pieces in a fit of rage before shrinking in on himself, laying in the carnage for a cumbersome moment, breathing, not feeling, before getting up to fix it all. Erwin saw as Levi stood tall and strong, saluting with all the strength of a man who intends to honor his equal on the day of his memorial. Admiration and guilt overwhelming as Levi rests his head against his skull for a moment before laying it atop the velvet cloth in the casket

Erwin persistently watched Levi wrestle with his demons in his darkest hours, marveled at the might he possessed when he stood back up on his own two feet, and every time ached so desperately to reach into the water and pull him up into his arms.

How ironic that a man's greatest undoing would be the very power that kept him alive for so long. To suffer the consequences of survival.

"Erwin, please."

He startles from where he sits and turns to the source of the voice, the distress on his father's face palpable.

"Father-"

"Don't do this to yourself."

There's a heavy silence that follows before Kasimir takes a deep sigh and finds the courage to move and sit on the bed of moss beside his son. Erwin watches the frown lines on his face smooth into something calmer before he continues.

"I used to watch you."

And suddenly the air is knocked out of Erwin's lungs.

"I watched you tear yourself to pieces because of me. So many times I'd wanted to reach in and shake you senseless. I-"

There's undeniable guilt.

"Father-"

"You can't do this to yourself, Erwin."

He understands his father's guilt. He knows it too intimately for his own comfort.

"I did this to him." Erwin's voice turns raw, barely a whisper.

"He got there all on his own."

"Did you accept that for yourself?"

His father swallows thickly, giving it some thought before Erwin knows he's going to get an honest answer.

"No."

Erwin thinks he's about to hand the torch over before his father surprises him again.

"But that didn't stop you, and it won't stop him."

Erwin thinks of the unending pattern of self loathing they've put each other through and wonders if Kuchel would've hit them over the head with her famed wooden spoon by now. It gets a faint smile out of him and he's suddenly grateful for a lot.

"Like father like son?"

And Kasimir struggles to fight the smile off his face because he's still trying to win his son over. He fails.

"Like father like son."

They enjoy the hushed tones of an early dawn in silence. The cicadas still whirring as an orange light starts to slowly bleed into the forest.

Somewhere in a parallel reality Levi continues to push, sacrifice and endure, and Erwin watches and waits.

He will be a witness to all his suffering.

**Author's Note:**

> Given the current SNK timeline, it felt appropriate to revisit the Afterlife AU I've written for.
> 
> This snippet takes place after the events of chapter 132 and before Levi passes away... whenever that may be.


End file.
